CHOICE
How many of us have been in a No-Win situation? How do you determine a No-Win? Is it a survivable event that you can ride out? Is it just a matter of how much you can stand? If you must work to survive, do you just continue to suffer interminably?
When do we draw the line between what we have to endure for money versus killing our soul?
Questions that I am sure most psyche majors write papers on and most experts have figured out. Personally, I have no idea. The answer I get to these queries when I talk to learned colleagues is, we always have a choice. You can choose to change your life in the moment you decide.
· Will it be easy? Your choice
· What if the timing is bad, do you wait? Your choice
· What if the people you work for rely on you? Your choice
· What if you will lose everything? Your choice
Like everything in life, it comes down to who you are at that moment. What you can take at that moment. What you can endure from the choice you make. It’s like I say to my peeps when I am waxing psychobabble, we have a choice everyday to wake up and be happy or be unhappy. It’s YOUR choice.
Life is a crap shoot at best. Sure, there are those who believe our every action is ordained and fate rules outcome. There are those that believe in nothing and drift through life. There are those of us that fall in between. We pick and choose what is fate-related and what is free-will based on what works for us at the time (I believe this is called rationalization…ahem.) Come on…we all do it.
Options:
1. React with emotion, it makes you feel better for a second, then you realize it’s a huge mistake.
2. React by trying to out-psyche your opponent, you get burned because they already played that card.
3. React with immaturity, you look like an idiot and no one will be sorry you lost.
4. React with anger, you lose, and you regret it. (Also, refer to #3)
Think about it. It’s already a No-Win, so why react at all. Again, all about choice. Twice at my company, I have been literally career-path-altered by young climbers. It happens. No big deal. At my age, if I can’t take a full-frontal assault, I shouldn’t be in management anymore.
In my youth, I would have fought to the death…the strong survive, especially in the corporate shark pool. The trophy would be obnoxiously displayed. I can say that because when I was their age, I was that person to a lesser degree.
I let the first No-Win ride out and suffered the consequences. Mouth shut. After all, once you realize it’s a No-Win, there’s not a lot you can do. Any reaction at all, righteous or not, makes you look bad. Key point #2 is that it did not affect my income.
This second one is being perpetrated by a very shrewd woman. She is connected. She is degreed in psychology. She is a climber. She is the epitome of appropriate behavior. She smiles at you and compliments you while she is shoving the dagger into your chest cavity. So much for the women supporting women network. Key point #2 is she is screwing me out of revenue and growth. Kind of where I draw the line.
Smart move is to stay mum and ride it out, just like the other No-Win. Karma is a cruel mistress and this person will pay, someday. We all do. (Oh, there’s that rationalization again…) The key for me is deciding what to do. It’s all about choice, right? At what age and at what point do I quit taking it over the desk, without dinner? Is my love for work worth this fight after 50 years? Is this an ego thing, where I just can’t let her win because I am right, and she is wrong? Do I subject my peeps, who are basically my family, to this monster? It’s all about choice.
· Guilt affects choice.
· Love affects choice.
· Finance affects choice.
· Self-respect affects choice.
· Maturity affects choice.
Never cut and dried, is it?
At this moment, during this writing purge of my soul for today, I am looking to change my life again. Is it too late to start a third career? Nope. Is this the worst time in history to try? Yep.
Do I think she will push me out before I can land somewhere? Probably, and THAT, is the one thing that is NOT my choice.
