Tolerance
Have you ever asked a stupid question or said something so weird that you silence a room? Raise your hand…(ahem)…🤚mine is up. The minute it comes out of your mouth, the brain’s stupid meter starts blaring. You can’t take it back because it’s already out there. You can’t answer it because everyone knows the answer and is looking at you like you landed from Mars. The face just turns crimson or you feel faint and must deal with what just came out of your mouth. As Ron White, the comedian says, “You can’t fix Stupid.”
The many things going on in a brain at one time begs to let out the stupid question. How can a person be perfect? Impossible. Those who spend the majority of life trying to reach perfection and failing miserably, realize the stamina required to maintain that kind of control, can kill ya. Ahh, but hindsight is 20/20.
If a person knows they are odd, they tend to have acquaintances and friends that are not from the same world as the “Normals”. The unfairly categorized misfits band together and form their own society. It is my great fortune to be included in some of the most unique societies, at least in my life experience and definition.
The lesson about being able to operate in unique societies is tolerance. Since the brain waves work differently or are askew by normal societal standards, it takes understanding and tolerance to survive and thrive. Here’s the thing, the very people you must develop tolerance for, are the very people that have the patience to help you acquire it.
As a person, who has taken many paths to get to the right one, my true friends have been steadfast. Maybe we don’t talk every day. Maybe we don’t see each other for years. It doesn’t matter. In the end, they tolerate you. They understand you. They have compassion for your trips down the wrong road.
The key is to return that acceptance ten-fold. Tolerance has never been my strong suit. Appeal to my logic and you win. Ask me for emotional backing and it’s iffy, at best. Tolerance was just a word in the dictionary. However, I often expected it from others. You reap what you sow. Man, is that true.
Since the stroke, I have been the fortunate recipient of much tolerance. I have a boss that has watched my 60-year reserve of professionalism go bye-bye, while enduring emotional outbursts (privately, of course) that would make a sailor blush. Things that would never have ruffled a feather are affecting me in ways that I am having trouble coping with, almost daily.
There are some very smart people in these societies. I have not shown them the tolerance they have shown me. Disgraceful. Even yesterday I sat with a neighbor who is the proverbial “know-it-all” and had to hold my temper in check. The brain said, “accept this person and change your perspective.” I did. It is true that this person tells people how to do things against their will because she knows and has done more than five people in her life. She is also a person that lives alone and in her way handles loneliness this way. She wants to connect but doesn’t realize that her way of connecting can be irritating to those that don’t understand her.
There but by the grace of God, go I.
I have friends that I haven’t seen in years that are fine that I am waltzing back into their domain, with dain-bramage, to boot. I have acquaintances in my community that understand that I am not cut from their cloth and they tolerate me every day. This is a blessing that must be acknowledged and cherished. Even if you learn the lesson late in life. The fact that you learn it at all is what’s important.
To all of you who have tolerated my negative traits, non-normal traits, life missteps and stupid questions, I thank you so much. It humbles me and has helped me to become more tolerant. You have done society a good deed.
